6. Your contact lenses will tear right before a night out. They will be your last pair and you’ll be forced to geek chic it out in your not-so-chic glasses. But, lucky for you, there will no one worth impressing on said night out.
7. Just remember: there will always be idiots (like Rush Limbaugh, right wing extremists, Ann Coulter, etc) trying to tell you we live in their ridiculous, unrealistic, bland world.
8. Also remember: there will always be people smarter and just as angry and open-minded as you to combat the aforementioned idiots.
9. When you turn 30, the ‘getting out of bed creaks’ begin, but so does a new perspective and you realize you want to be like Betty White when you turn 90. You’ll also have to recover from a minor meltdown over eye cream.
10. It’s ok to forgive yourself every once in a while and have cake for breakfast. You’ll realize you need to stop yourself if ‘every once in while’ means ‘days ending in Y’